Rachel asked ...
1) How does what you know about marriage affect how you view dating? Would this have changed anything about how you dated?
EM: I think realizing now how much work it takes to have a healthy and thriving marriage, I'd encourage people to avoid dating those who have had everything handed to them. If people don't know how to work hard they'll quit in your marriage as soon as things get tough. Knowing this makes me grateful to have a Husband who understands the importance of intentionality and pushing through seasons of difficulty.
TIM: Dating can easily dance on the boundary lines of "pretend marriage." Looking back I realize this is both dangerous and deceptive. Marriage is the place for total intimacy (spiritual, emotional, and physical). If a dating couple attempts to enter one of those three intimate realms too soon, they will either be deeply wounded or have marital angst down the road. Dating is the time to court one another. Learning about one another has its place but but must be done with utmost care. Dating is also a preliminary period where friends and family will either confirm or deny a compatible marriage. Overall, dating and marriage are two different ball games, and there is much that we don't learn about until we're actually in it. Some things have to be experienced head on. Understanding these ideas would have drastically improved my dating life with Em.
2) What do you think are the 4 most important qualities or values you share in your relationship?
EM: 1) Faith 2) Communication 3) Forgiveness 4) Playfulness / Creativity
TIM: 1) Communication 2) Vulnerability 3) Loyalty 4) Selflessness
How would you have answered these questions? Thanks again Rachel, for the Pony Express delivery. Fist pumps to you and everyone else in Charlotte!
Em & Tim