{Husband's Letters}

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Husband's Letters: Dear Mrs. Loerke, today marks the first day of your post-Whole30 adventure. I'm so proud of you! I'm also excited to continue implementing the things you've learned into our weekly menu. Dear Texas Summer, it's about that time of year when I start reminiscing about our adventure in Alaska. This cold weathered fellow will always chose a day in the mountains over a weekend at the beach. Dear Fly Fishing, after experiencing the glory of casting and reeling in the fish, I'm hooked! Can't wait to learn more about knot tying, flies, and rainbow trout. Dear Emily Anne, sometimes when you're sitting next to me you'll say, "I miss you." This is typically right before you retreat into your introverted happy place to read (aka our closet). You make this extrovert smile.

Over and out,
Tim

Are you introverted or extroverted? It can be tricky sometimes being married to someone who is opposite, but more wonderful than anything. Em has reminded me the importance of both rest and play.

22 comments:

Michelle said...

definitely introverted but I think extroverted-ness can be a learned skill if you need to have it. i.e. if your married to an extrovert.

post-grad11 said...

Introvert living an extroverts life? I took the Myers-Briggs test once and it said I was an extrovert. I think it's lying.

R said...

I'm an extrovert married to an introverted extrovert. Poor guy...I exhaust him w/ all the things I try to do & people I want to see every weekend. :-)

abcdfamily said...

I am very introverted and so is my husband... It is nice to be similar since that means we (almost) without fail enjoy the same things, but it also keeps us in our comfort zone. However, my sister is QUITE extroverted so if I ever need a challenge I just turn to her :)

Brianna Soloski said...

Definitely introverted, but I try to get out sometimes so people don't think I'm a total wallflower, even though I really am. I will always choose a night in over a night out.

AJ and KJ said...

Introverted-ness is definitely my comfort-zone, but having a talky-extroverted husband, I've learned how to put on my extrovert's hat when needed!

knewkirk said...

I'm a talkative introvert, so I think my poor extroverted husband thinks he was mislead! Luckily he loves me even when he has to beg me to go out and hang with the crowd.

Molly Roberson said...

I choose the mountains over the beach too!
-M "The Extrovert"

Jennifer said...

I'm an outgoing introvert. I need a lot of time to myself to recharge, but I also love the time I spend socializing with friends. I think I landed just shy of the middle on the meyers-briggs test.

Han said...

I'm not entirely sure - I think I'm an extrovert but Chris says I have my introvert moments more often than extrovert.

When I was at school my teachers always said I was shy but I think that was more that I had it engrained in me to focus and get on with my work rather than chat. Also I'd be quiet and take everything in.

I would how every rather read then go to a party so maybe that's introvert......

Kym+Dustin said...

Maybe you guys should come visit us in Alaska this summer :) it is nice and rainy here now.

Tracy said...

I highly recommend this TED Talk to both of you!

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html

KB said...

Introvert for sure. My husband is extroverted and I love it, especially when we are at social functions. He makes it much more comfortable for me. He does all the talking and I pipe in here and there but mostly I can just sit back and observe. Its what works for us.

Frankie Bird said...

Can I please be both? I am predominantly an extrovert but have many introvert characteristics hidden within me like reading in closets, a fear of the phone and a love of silence and me-time

Julie said...

I am introverted and marrying an introvert. Quiet time for the win!

Grace said...

By nature I am an introvert! Growing up with an extroverted best friend and going to a large public high school have helped push me a little further to the center of the introvert-extrovert scale. Now I can tap into either side depending on the situation, but introvert is still by far my home zone.

Today's Letters said...

so many more introverts than i thought! have developed a deep love for extroverts after being married to tim. he reminds that playing before working can be equally as good for the soul.

Mel said...

Tim Tam,

I am an extrovert off the charts who loves sports, outdoors, etc and I am dating someone right now who is the complete opposite of me. Extremely introverted, so much so that having a disagreement is more like me talking to the wall than her. It bothers me beyond belief. Not sure always being with someone who is the complete opposite of you is always worth it, especially when it comes to sharing similar interest and being able to discuss things that will always come up. Any thoughts?

Mel

Today's Letters said...

mel, shoot me your email! em@todaysletters.com

Charity said...

Tim and Mel,
This is something my mind battles constantly. My husband is very introverted and likes a lot of time to himself (running, fishing, etc.) and I am an extreme extrovert who lives in my husbands hometown-very isolating. Opposites can be attractive and of course, can open our minds to another perspective but it is so hard to feel misunderstood and always at odds with our partner. I try to remind myself of all of the beautiful parts of his introversion that attracted me to him in the first place. Remember to never let someone change who you are.

Mel said...

Charity,

I love what you had to say. I agree I don't want to change who I am, but also taking little jabs for loving "ball" so much, or always wanting to watch "sports" gets very old after awhile. Props to you, I'd never make it in a small isolated town. Bless you and your extroverism. I know what it's like to be misunderstood, it happens alot because our backgrounds are so different and we struggle to see eye to eye sometimes. I guess I have to decide if I am creating my unhappiness through things not going my way or the mis-match of interest is enough to let go. Ugh!

Charity said...

Mel,
It is nice to know that there are other people dealing with the same issues as we are. The question you asked is very similar to what we are dealing with:
Am I creating my unhappiness through things not going my way or is the conflict of mis-match of interest inevitable?
After going to some counseling we have been working on balance. It was so easy to live nearly separate lives with our different interests but that leads to both feeling unloved and almost rejected. Not a healthy marriage. Perfect balance is something we will never achieve but its a goal for us to continue working at so we don't become complacent. Not feeling loved or valued is the worst feeling you can have as a partner. My advice for you is, if you can't work on balance now- it will never work. Don't give up but both need to make a constant effort when your lifestyles are so different. Best of luck Mel!

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