{Husband's Letters}

Saturday, April 05, 2014


Dear Mrs. Loerke, you're creativity has always impressed me. Thank you for showing me that another man's trash can often be turned into something unique and amazing. I love our new bicycle taxidermy! Dear Leaks in Our Basement Wall, so far I've patched you with wads of tinfoil and silicone caulk. Next plan of attack: Big League Chew and a roll of Duct tape. Dear Steve, owner of Fresh Start, a few days ago Patrick helped my wife shovel two loads of dirt into our raised beds instead of just dumping it into the middle of our driveway like most delivery guys would. From one man to another, give that dude a raise! Dear Emily Anne, sometimes I forget that you're pregnant because of how productive you've been and how little you've complained. Your perseverance reminds me everyday how truly blessed I am to be your husband.

Happy Saturday! Moms and dads, I'm searching high and low for any delivery room advice you can offer me as a first time Papa! (I'll also take any advice on how to repair leaky basement walls).

16 comments:

Venessa said...

I'm a nurse that has worked in the L&D at one of our hospitals and the advice I can give you is to just be there for your beautiful wife. Understand she's going to get cranky with you towards the ends (cranky most likely being an understatement), but you are there to be her support. Don't play the physician. Be the husband and be the dad. You'll only get this chance just this once (for this kiddo, anyway). You will be amazing!

Hannah J said...

Sounds sort of silly but take a pack up with you. Just in case Emily is in labour over lunch or dinner - last thing you want to do is go to the shop for a sandwich and find that Emily has delivered while you've been out!
My mum went to the hospital in labour with me at 6am and my dad was sent home to have breakfast because I was taking so long - it was a good idea as I didn't show up until 2pm in the afternoon. My Dad tells the story how he had to go shopping for food as my mum was due to do the food shopping the following morning and then I decided to rock up early.

Hannah said...

Find out what her " big fat importants" are before going in (immediate skin to skin, allow bottle feeding or not, epidural plans, etc) and then handle them for her once you get there. For the best bond and healthiest baby and Mamma, she needs to focus on your Little. You be the strong arm...her spokesperson....so she can know she doesn't have to worry about it. That's the best thing my husband did for me with our boys. He was my protector, so to speak, in a world of medicine where you have to be your own advocate.

Anonymous said...

Remember to tell your wife that she is beautiful and what a good job she is doing. There will be lots of excitement and focus on the new baby. Mom needs a pat on the back and some encouragement as well. Those hormones will be creating all kinds of crazy emotions. :O) Good luck to you both and God bless.

The Real Me- TLF said...

I have no idea about labor advice or how to fix leaky basements. But I know that you 2 are quite the charming couple, and I appreciate you adoration of each other. Emmers... you are the sweetest, calmest, tiniest pregnant woman ever. Can not wait for you all to meet your little so we can all share in your enthusiasm!

Suzie said...

My husband and I read "Bradley Method" before our last two kids... was a huge help for us to communicate expectations/roles.... my husband was my sanity while I was laboring.... If she is attempting to go naturally without medicine, there may be a time when she wants to give up or starts to go a little crazy... that's when you can be the firm, confident voice beside her :) Good luck!

Melissa Plath said...

We were going for a natural birth and the only thing that helped while I was in labor was to walk. I walked for fifteen hours. The whole time, he kept asking me "What can I do for you? How can I help?" Literally the only thing that helped was walking, so I told him to just hang out and watch tv until I needed him.

My best advice would to just be there for her, in whatever way that means. I know that's vague, but it's the truth. Whether she needs you at her side coaching her or if she needs you chillin' in the room until she does need you, do what she says! hahaha

Shandell said...

We read the book The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin before our boys were born and it really helped both of us, but it's especially geared toward teaching husband's to coach their wives through labor + delivery.

Anonymous said...

I know this sounds strange, but put the camera down. Enjoy the moment with her and while there will be times for photos, this chance only comes one time. There will always be time for memories but hand the camera to someone else and enjoy this a lifetime photo memory in your mind.

SKA said...

For the birth: Trust your instincts. You'll both do a great job! It's such a miracle and an experience you will not soon forget.

For the leaky basement walls: Try a polyurethane injection kit (like Crack-Pac). We're dealing with the same thing (all the way up here in New Hampshire).

I've been an avid reader for years, so thank you for the thoughtful writing! On another note, my mom was born & raised in the Louisville and I visit my large extended family there several times a year. My husband and I got married at St. Bonafice and we both have such a soft spot for that wonderful, vibrant city! I digress ...

Lauren Peters said...

Ask her what her expectations are (even though she might not know now) and how you can be most helpful to her while you are in the thick of it. Just be there for her and encourage her. Hold her hand, wipe her forehead with a cool rag, and hang on and enjoy the ride. Bring some snacks and gum(!!) for yourself. Apparently the gum helped my hubby keep stress/anxiety at bay. You two seem to be a great team and I know you are going to do great!!

Meg - [Life of Meg] said...

Too cute! I love that super creative bicycle "deer head". How fun! And let me know how that Big League Chew bubblegum works out for you... we've discovered a leaky roof at the Evans household. Oh, the joys of home ownership!

Emily said...

Tim - research french drains / whether the water from gutters is overspilling and then seeping into basement... Here we had one side of our house that had a river running through until we dug a french drain to carry water away from the foundation... Start with gutters and work your way down. Maybe the french drain thing will help or lead you in the right direction - preventing the seeping in in the first place! Good Luck! emily @ oregon beer country {dot} com

Anonymous said...

No advice or anything - just heardbroken again... very sad and wanted to say that your love for one another is something I could only dream of - you are amazing!

Anonymous said...

Just asking what you can do is already being supportive. In my experience the most helpful things were the things the nurses suggested to my husband like rubbing my back, turning off phones, and asking what I need. Personally, I was not happy when my husband would offer advice, hearing "Just breath through the pain" made me want him to pass a kidney stone so I could tell him to breath through the pain! Kidding....You will do great as long as you listen more than you talk.

Anonymous said...

It's been 17 years since I gave birth, but I did it 7 times. By baby #3 and on, a girlfriend would come too. I had two gifts: my supportive husband AND the look of knowing from a girlfriend who had experienced the pains of labor. I found strength in both. I remember my husband would want to tell me that a contraction, "was coming," b/c he was looking at the monitor. I didn't like that. I KNEW the contraction was coming before the monitor did. My husband learned to let that be a clue to him what I was experiencing, and then, when the contraction passed, he would encourage me with something like: that was a big one - you're doing GREAT.

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